Botswana Stew

A delightful dish that tickles the palate. Set aside several days for preparation as the flavors take time to develop...

Ingredients

-2 letters, mailed from a foreign address

-1 scrumptious muffin

-1 combi door

-2 broken umbrellas

-1 tapestry, woven by lovely old ladies

-1 independent film

-100 student-athletes, or substitue 100 students posing as athletes

-1 Chinese dinner, enjoyed by candlelight

-8 cold showers

-1 pitch party, hosted by a private school
Instructions

1. Ask family or friends to send letters to the Office of International Education and Partnerships Office, University of Botswana. Wait one month. Wait another month. Inquire at the local post office. Inquire at the University of Botswana post office. Inquire at the International Education Office. Write your name at the bottom of a long list of students with missing mail. Wait...

2. Take a stroll down to Riverwalk Mall. Locate Equatorial Cafe and sit down at a table or voluminous couch. Order a blackforest muffin (other menu choices available, ask the waiter for details). Take full advantage of the free internet. Indulge.

3. Hop on a combi with too many people. Ride down a pot hole ridden track at break neck speeds. With any luck the door will automatically fall off. If not, have drunken passengers bash at it. Continue driving and pretend not to notice.

4. Go for a walk when nasty looking clouds are building in the distance. Bring umbrellas and a friend. Open umbrellas when torrential downpour begins. Wade to the nearest shelter. Battle hurricane force winds. Abandon sodden, bent, and sad looking umbrellas.

5. Find a combi labeled “Oodi” and step on board. Travel out to a remote village and greet friendly old ladies. Observe sheep shearing, wool spinning, wool dying, and wool weaving. When english fails, use flambuoyant hand gestures to communicate. Ogle handiwork and beautiful designs. Purchase a tapestry for 300 Pula.

6. Walk to Maru-a-Pula secondary school. Avoid cows en route. Squish into tiny theatre hall with other students, nuns, businessmen, professors, media people, and tourists. Take advantage of free refreshments. Watch a well directed and shocking film about sex trafficking. Spend an evening contemplating the messages.

7. Wake up early and go for a jog. Investigate frenzied cheering at the UB Stadium. Run stairs. Watch a pseudo student track meet. Wonder whether bare feet and jean shorts are appropriate sprinting attire. Wonder whether dresses are appropriate hurdling attire!

8. Grab a taxi to African Mall. Navigate around shifty looking bars and link arms with friends. Locate Chinese restaurant (preferably before 7:00pm or the establishment will be closed). Order wonton soup. Do not panic when power failure hits. Hope squishy lumps in bowl really are wontons. Finish meal by candlelight.

9. Live at the Las Vegas dorms. Go to the bathroom on the second floor of Block A3. Turn on the hot water tap and take a cold shower every morning. When the water stops working, walk to the pool for a shower. Stockpile drinking water!

10. Drive out to a private school in Gaborone. Gape at gigantic gated houses and one enormous mansion. Count 15 air conditioner units in the mansion windows. Pass security and enter school. Gape at immaculate grounds and facilities. Watch badly behaved children run rampant. Join better behaved children on the soccer pitch. Pretend to lack dribbling abilities and get kicked in the shins. Nurse injuries over a lovely slice of cake.